I've been playing "good girl" all my life.
I've pretty much always done what I "should have" done--always doing the right thing. I'm not talking little things, I'm talking about the "big stuff"...In fact, I can think of only a few times in twenty years I've done the horribly wrong thing, which I don't think I regret even though it was wrong.
Pretty much following the rules, staying inside the lines. That's me. I'm not saying I'm perfect-anyone who knows me or who has read any post on my blog knows better. And I'm not saying I've never been tempted to do something "crazy" or "bad." But when temptations have presented themselves I've almost, mostly always passed on them, opting instead for the "right thing" or the "noble thing."
Well, honestly, all this nobility has got me to wondering what it would feel like to just leave everything. Get up without any notice, empty my bank account, and just go. And do something absolutely crazy. Do something that no one would ever guess I'd do, if I even told them I'd done it.
Just...what is it like to do sometihng foolish or crazy? What would it be like, for once, to not meet or exceed the expectations? Granted, my idea of "crazy" is nothing compared to what some people would do.
I'm not saying I'm unhappy with my life. I'd never really do any of the things I just talked about, because all of them would be irresponsible and there would surely be consequences I wouldn't like. I can't be anyone buy myself, and that's what I'm doing every day. But I still wonder, could I pull off being bad, irresponsible, or "naughty"?
I suppose there is only one way to find out. But I don't really wanna do that, now do I?
I mean what would the difference be... I'm already viewed as such by some idiot.