Wednesday, June 29, 2005


I walked beside the evening sea
And dreamed a dream that could not be
The waves that plunged along the shore
Said only, "Dreamer, dream no more."

Btw......It's okay if you feel like you're spying on me... I feel like you're spying on me too.

Interesting Words:

As you get older three things happen. The first isyour memory goes, and I can't remember the othertwo...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies arelike cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.
-- Lenny Bruce

One of the most difficult things in the world is toc onvince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
-- Edgar Watson Howe

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures andtolerates your success!
-- Doug Larson

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a newbike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work thatway, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
-- Erno Philips

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.
-- Robert Paul

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
-- Phyllis Diller

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
-- Victor Borge

Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
-- W.C. Fields

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
-- Will Rogers

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
-- Mickey Rooney

Women now have choices. They can be married, notmarried, have a job, not have a job, be married withchildren, unmarried with children. Men have the samechoice we've always had: work or prison.
-- Tim Allen

If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I loveyou, I want to marry you. I want to have children...'- they leave skid marks.
-- Rita Rudner

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be therewhen it happens.
-- Woody Allen

Advice is what we ask for when we already know theanswer but wish we didn't.
-- Erica Jong

Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out ofit alive.
-- Elbert Hubbard

Always and never are two words you should alwaysremember never to use.
-- Wndell Johnson

In life, it's not who you know that's important,it's how your wife found out.
-- Joey Adams

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-oneyears. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
-- Henry Youngman

Have you noticed that all the people in favour ofbirth control are already born ?
-- Benny Hill

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Is There A Such Thing...

The other day something got me pondering over the existence..or rather, the possibility of what they go on and on about as unconditional love. And i was pretty much surprised at myself when i finally came to the conclusion that it does not...cannot exist. The rationale was based mostly on two factors , one, that expecting is human nature and much as you fight it, it will, at some level somehow creep in, and even if u began loving unconditionally(or so u thought), there will come a point where you will begin to expect the same, and there goes unconditionality out of the window.

The second factor is much simpler- even unconditionality is a condition.

Now that is all very good. But the funny part is that for years, the idealist in me has prevailed over least as far as thoughts go. And the idealist has been supressed, bashed up, hammered down, but bottomline is, it has prevailed. Now, however, i feel the realist winning more often, and practicality constantly disrupting the romantic trend of thought. And i don't know whether to be thrilled or... well...not thrilled.

Maybe it's just the heat.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

The Long Awaited Return

I know I haven't posted in a long time...and I am truely sorry about it. I just have been too busy lately. Work and school is leaving me with no time to play. But I'm not complaining. I chose to do this myself. It keeps me busy and helps me not think about things that I really shouldn't think about. Anyways I finally got a chance to get me some blogger time. SO, I really dont have anything interesting to talk about cause my life is boring. I'll just talk about random news.

Apparently they're using contraceptives to control the geese population in Oregon. This begs the question, "How do they get the geese to put on a condom?"

Oprah Winfrey was turned away at the door of Hermes Paris. Poor poor Oprah! How could they do that to her! If only she could somehow use her $200 million to comfort herself...

Holy crap, this guy really killed a leopard with his bare hands! And he's 73 years old! Well that makes me feel even more useless.

A man got shot in the mouth and then decided that he wanted to take a nap and went home. After waking up, he went to the hospital to have the bullet removed from his tongue.

A 95-year old Japanese man set a new world's record for the 100-meter dash in the 95-99 age group. He came in at 22.04 seconds. Big deal. I could totally smoke his ass.

Let me be a testimonial for the power of prayer. I've been praying ever since "The Beach" for DiCaprio to be hit in the head by a bottle. And finally God has answered my prayers.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

A serious post....

Sometimes I want to pull out my hair, seriously, just pull it all out. It would be easier to be bald, anyway. Less hair care.

I feel (almost constantly) that there is this ENORMOUS pressure put on us to succeed. And if you fail, they might as well just ship you off to Cuba or something to hang with Fidel. You might as well just be an outcast or something.

There is a great pressure that has been placed on my shoulders--from my parents, from society, from the world--telling me that I better make the right decisions here and now. I'm 20, people! I know I bring up my age a lot. But I find it funny and ironic that many view 20 as an adult age (in terms of consequences), but when it comes sense about life, no one would take a 20-year-old's rantings seriously.

And, I don't really expect people to take me seriously. I'm young and foolish, what can I say? Even my keen logic doesn't save me from experimenting from time to time. I blame it on my age.

What is success, anyway? Wealth, family, love, pride? What I define as success may not be another person's success. The bland definition of success in the dictionary goes as follows: To accomplish something desired or intended. Then, those dictionary bastards had to add this quote in there: “Success is counted sweetest/By those who ne'er succeed” (Emily Dickinson). Yep. I can relate with that freakin' quote. The grass is greener, right?

The real pressure I feel--the pressure that haunts me every night before i go to sleep--the pressure to not fail. There hasn't been a moment in my life where I've really messed up. There have been small hiccups here and there, but overall I've been the good kid. Maybe that's why my parents are so hopeful.

Maybe I don't want all the hope placed on my shoulders. Maybe I just want peace of mind. In another way, however, the pressure drives me to keep on going. Maybe the pressure is a blessing in disguise. I imagine I will get gray hair from thinking about it too much.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

A Chinese Proverb...

If I keep a green bough in my heart, a Singing bird will come.

I guess you can interpret the meaning many different ways. My way goes something to the effect of "if you believe you can do it, opportunity will come knockin'." Yeah, I don't know how to make that sound less cheesy. The point is, I can relate with this proverb in my life right about now. I'm approaching crossroads, and it's the scariest thing I've EVER seen. It's my future up ahead, and I'm still wondering if I'm gonna make it in the "real world," if we wanna call it that. I'm not yet worried about marriage, nope, or families or any of that. The thing that is scaring the HELL out of me is the idea of a career. What am I going to do? Where am I going to live? Will I really make it to medical school? Will I ever really become a doctor? SOO many people have the same dream as me, but never see it through. Will I join them?

The frightening part is that I've never had things so undecided before me...the path is usually clear. But this one is covered with moss and haze and branches and spiders...any road block you could imagine.This is where the proverb comes in. It's my job to believe I can get through it. When you believe, the path makes a way for you, or rather, you make a way through it. You don't take no for an answer. I can say it, but the hard part is actually taking it into my life and working it into my decisions and actions.

Alright, alright. I'll end this proverb nonsense

Friday, June 03, 2005

Oh Music These Days....(Or Back in 1999)

Here are some highly innovative, remarkably creative lines provided to us by LFO. oh god, remember "Summer Girls":

"There was a good man named Paul Revere, I feel much better baby when you're near."

"I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike."

"I like the color purple, macaroni-and cheese"

"New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick"

"Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets"

Listen guys, I don't think William appreciates you calling him "Billy." And what the hell does Paul Revere have to do with some chick your singing to? Lastly, you losers, you never stole my were too stupid to ever know how to ride a bike.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

How Are You?

Naturally, I don't really want to know. But that question gets asked thousands of times a day by people just like me who don't really care how the heck you really are. Which makes one wonder why we even bother to ask. Why not just stop at "hi" - or "hello" for the more formal out there. After all, what do we really do armed with the information that the person we just encountered is fine. Or good maybe. Or perhaps they'll say lousy but we know they're really being sarcastic. Of course, if we truly detect that lousy is an honest assessment of how they are, we can use that information to run as fast as we can the other way just in case they may look to us for some desperate measure of help. Yes, there is that benefit - but on the other hand, we probably never would have learned of their despair if we hadn't asked in the first place. So again, why bother?

There are those who don't inquire as to how we are but instead wonder "what's going on". This is a tricky one. The standard response of course is "not much" or "same ol' same ol'". But unlike "fine", which implies that life is generally going along as it should, what does "not much" really say about us? One could say they're fine until they're blue in the face and still feel okay about themselves. Say not much is going on for too long and maybe you'll realize you need to get a life! I think I prefer to be asked how I am.

The obligatory follow up to hello has become so ingrained in our society that I'm afraid we couldn't simply drop the practice just like that. The pregnant pause following "hi" would likely render an uncomfortable chuckle as passing greeters quickly look the other way and move on. Maybe the moment could be filled with more meaningful inquiries such as "where did you buy those pants?" or "was that your girlfriend/boyfriend I saw last night?" The possibilities are limitless. In fact, I encourage - no, dare - you to ask the next person you greet some more meaningful question. Something that tells them you really are interested in how they respond.

As for me, I'm fine.

Moving on..

Well, today I realized that some people are just born stupid. They adore people who are obviously more stupid than them, and like them, don't have the slightest idea that the world doesn't revolve around them!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Undo the Corset --- BREAK FREE!!!

I am SO SICK AND TIRED of girls telling me that they look ugly. SO tired of it!
I am SO TIRED of having to reassure girls that no, they do not look ugly, and yes, they are beautiful. But they don't believe me. They just believe that they are decent, mediocre at best. WHAT THE HELL!?

Will someone please please please define "ugly" for it defined as not looking exactly like the skinny anorexic chick in Vogue magazine who eats half a celery stick and a raisin? Is it having a few more flaws than all the annoying movie stars who are magically airbrushed in all their pictures? WHY do we constantly have to feel like we're the ugly ones?

I know a lot of it has to do with impressing guys. I suppose we all know the formula goes something like this: a guy thinks we look hot=we get a boyfriend=we eventually get married=we have kids=our whole life depends on looking hot. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL? Who made that crap up? They should be thrown out into burning coal and shot. And then they should be shot again.

I say this with anger because I've felt it too. I've felt hideous and ugly and unwanted and unbeautiful and all those things...all because of this fucking standard we're told we NEED to live up to. The saddest part is that 95% of girls seriously go by this standard. We're all trapped, together, and only the trapped ones can truly change it. But how does one go about changing a system? We're drowning in our own pools of lip gloss and hair gel and face toner and there seems to be no way out. I DON"T know how to go about changing it.

The part that kills me is that the girls that told me they were "ugly" are all so beautiful. They are all so smart and quick with jokes and caring and they have SO MUCH MORE TO OFFER than what they look like. And because this pool of beauty standards is keeping them all down and drowning their intelligent minds, they think that they're ugly people...even though they're BEAUTIFUL.

I don't really know where I'm going with this argument. It's not put together well, hell, I don't even think it makes sense. I'm just mad about all the crap girls have to go through everyday. If I sound like a feminist, so be it...I'll stop bathing for an added effect (haha, well maybe not, I love showers too much). I just want the judgement to stop, and for us (my friends and me included and all the girls of the world) to FINALLY realize that, yes, we are beautiful because WE SAY that we are. Not you, not the magazines, not any boys....just us, our shining personalities and our flaw-filled beauty.