This is all i know now.....

Something must be really wrong when you see a simple image such as this....



( a coffee bean)


And what you really see is this.....






Which then develops into this image that you conjured up in your head......

yahh....something must REALLY be messed up when

a coffee bean

is disected into its own compartments

and then referenced back to a human brain

all because the shape of a coffee bean

reminds you of the courses

that has become your life.

its really interesting though how similar a coffee bean and a brain are.....

anyways...off to another sleepless night with the loves of my life..

my textbooks.....

If you drift apart from your friends, dont try too hard to keep in touch wit them. Dont force the friendship to continue. If you were really meant to be friends with some one, then, no matter how much time passes, you'll be able to pick up right where u left off. You wont feel uncomfortable, or feel like they're different people now. Because we're always changing.There's nothing you can do about that. The true test of friendship is whether you can still be friends even after time, experience, and people have changed us. So dont force it. Dont make false promises of "i'll call and write every week", cuz no matter how much u wanna keep that promise, it usually doesnt work out. You call when u want to, or if you need to talk to that certain friend, not because you agreed on calling on Wednesdays and Fridays. Cuz that just makes it seem like a chore. Cuz if you really were meant to be friends with that person, you dont need to make those promises. Also, if u lost touch wit that person fer a long time, that doesnt mean they're not ur friends anymore...Besides, even if you havent kept in touch fer a long time, its also a nice surprise to somehow accidentally bump into that person, or get an unexpected letter/call/IM, and catch up...exchange stories, and reminisce about old times...

Maybe one day, i'll sit you down, and explain everything. i'll tell you things i didnt or couldnt. it'll probably take me hours, and it'll probably be hard for me to say and exhausting for you to hear. You'll probably be quite fazed and confused as to why i would even bother telling you this after all this time, especially when things are okay as they are. Maybe, if i had the courage to be straight up wit you,things would not be as they are now. Maybe you're right; i AM the one that lost out on something great. You're right. You told me i would regret it, and i do. I think i just threw the best thing that came my way away.But if i told you everything now, it would complicate things for you, wouldnt it? And it probably wouldnt help as of now, seeing that you're so far away.

To Hermit or Not to Hermit...

While in the midst of a brief conversation with a friend yesterday afternoon, he mentioned how he could easily percieve himself as a hermit. And even though I haven't seen him in quite some time, I believe him to be one to fully appreciate an open space and silence to clear one's mind. Does this necessarily characterize a hermit? Maybe.

But maybe not. We are all human; we all have our own way of decompressing, whether it be reading, doing a long muscle-burning workout, indulging oneself in music, or screaming at the top of one's lungs. For myself, I don't think I can fathom an existence without human interaction though. People intrigue and inspire me to no end, and my hope is that I can modestly tender the same for someone else.

to my friend....I hope you reconsider the hermit lifestyle. Your contribution would surely be missed.

Joy of Finding Something You Gave up on.

I found something today that I had completely given up on looking for.

I had looked for it, for about 12 months, I had searched high and low. I tried really hard. I tried so hard that I realised I was being ridiculous, and so my new year's resolution was to stop looking. Even after I officially stopped looking, I was sneaking peaks out of the corners of my eyes. You know how it is.

Finally, I achieved a kind of inner peace.

I
Gave
Up.

And now here it is.

The joy of the un-lost.