The little Sara that could...

So, continuing from my last post, I must say that there is nothing that I can do for my friend to magically "mend" her. The only thing that will heal her is herself-- her own self-realization and analysis. That's a frustrating thing to admit; of course I want to make things better for close friends. Thinking too much with my heart is what sometimes hurts me most. I need to do more thinking with my actual brain than with my heart, which is possible, but none the less, almost unattainable for me.

Today I felt a bit like a zombie. I got enough sleep, but it was just one of those days where i couldn't really think or function. I needed some kind of peppy song to wake up my mind. Where was George Michael when I needed him? "Wake me up, before you go go, don't leave hanging here like a yoyo...."I

'm kidding of course! Oh man, the eighties are definitely a decade to laugh at.

So of course when I get in these zombie-like moods I break out the caffiene. Really now, coffee is a drug. There's no way around it. And I have this french vanilla cream inside, mmmmm....it brings me back to a day in 4th grade when my friend revealed to me that you could drink your parents creamer by itself, and I then proceeded to drink a whole glass of it. You may cringe at that thought, but it was "lip-smakin'" good and I had a sugar high for about 4 hours. Not that I needed it at that age.

By the way, why do we have all that energy when we're younger? I could use some now. And to think, I used to despise nap time. Man, if there was a nap time 101 in college, that would be the most popular class ever.

Back in 4th grade, I remember I had the feeling that I could take on the world, super hero style...I believed whole-heartedly that "you can do anything you put your mind to." It's a bit depressing to think how much I've changed since then and how much I always doubt myself. Sometimes I think it really would be nice to stay a kid forever. To have that ignorance about the world was definitely a blessing sometimes. Those were the days where I would play X-men all day (and be Storm, of course), roll around in the mud (and not worry about trying to look girly) and most importantly, just be completely myself.

Anyways, I've completely sidetracked here, and really I'm procrastinating from studying...but hopefully, someday, I can revisit the days of believeving COMPLETELY in myself (none of this "well maybe I can do it" crap). I'll go back to some wise words from a book I used to love..."I think I can, I think I can, I think I can." I think I can graduate. I think I can get a good job. I think I can live life without being so scared of it. At least, I'll try my hardest.