Thursday, November 17, 2005

Sometimes in life you feel so alone and so scared and you wish your Guardian Angel can talk to you, but you can't. So instead, Allah sends human angels to help.

I know who my human angel was and I was very lucky to have that person. There were so many times that I was sad, but as soon as I talked to that person, that angel comforted me and I felt no more pain. Even if I didn't even talk about what was bothering me.

There was so many times I felt too weak to strive for things, but that person's voice lifted me up and reminded me I can do anything, because my human angel is right behind me, supporting me.....

But now I'm lost because I dont know where my angel went....

It just breaks my heart.

I have so much on pressure on my heart and mind right now and I would love to forget everything and be able to hold on to the hope that life will get better.

I just dont know how to deal with anything anymore......

I try so hard to stay positive, focus on school, on work, on family, on friends and not think about how sick I potentially can be...and how busting my ass for school may not pay off.

I just feel so worthless and I dont know how to get out of this hole. I don't know how to talk to anyone about this. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with. And all this pressure is building up and I really feel like I'm about to lose control.

I just want to give up and go away some where really far. I wish i didn't have to deal with all these things and got everything the easy way. I don't complain usually. I really don't. I bust my ass and work hard to have everything I have and I like it like that. But I don't so scared that I'm falling apart and I just want my guardian angel to come and rescue me cause i'm really falling apart.


At Wednesday, November 23, 2005 12:41:00 AM, Blogger crazy beeny said...

sigghhhh, i think what u need when ur guardian angel goes missing in action is ur devil incarnate...hehe i could be that for u. i mean i am pretty much on the way to that think about it who is the one who took ur liquor virginity..MEEEEEE. who makes u bitch about ppl with me...well me duh! u must admit being devilish is more fun than bein all goodie goodie. so lighten UP...and lets go have some devil fun!
love ya


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