Selfish Me -

"One question haunts and hurts
Too much, too much to mention:
Was I really seeking good
Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are
When looked at with an ice-cold eye?"

There is nothing more frustrating than giving a significant amount of time and/or energy to do something good and then not being able to do it.

Yesterday, I tried to give blood; my iron was too low. Today, I went back and my iron was high enough. I waited an hour and a half. They stuck me. I got nauseous. I'm okay, so no harm done. Except for the fact that I'm really frustrated. Here I was all ready to do a great, selfless act, and then I couldn't do it. So, not only do I end up not feeling so well and wasting time which I could have used to get some of my piles of work done (yeah right), I can't even say it was worth it. I didn't actually do anything worthwhile.

I'm not so upset that somebody who needs blood is not getting it, I'm so upset that I couldn't give it. Maybe it's just because giving blood is an indirect act to begin with, so you never truly see its effects. Maybe. But shouldn't I care more about the person who needs blood who is not getting it than I care about the fact that I'm a little dizzy and that I didn't earn my free t-shirt and movie ticket?? Well, shouldn't I?